Welcome to Edilsa's website!

Parenting is revolutionary because I believe the work we do in our families is revolutionary. Parenting is about raising humans, understanding childhood development and the impact it has in their lives. Parenting change us, evolve us and demands us to become better people.

As adults, there are so many patterns we see in our lives which are all rooted from our experiences as children. That is why, what we do now can potentially affect the way our children grow up.

As I think about my upbringing and unpack my life, I realize that I had normalized numerous patterns in my life. Such patterns as violence were becoming normal to me. My mother was brutally beaten up as a child, verbally abused and never felt the love of a parent. This also became the same for me. As a child, I was also beaten, verbally abused and neglected. This caused much trauma in my life and I was beginning to think that it was always my fault and had some sort of resentment towards life.

But,

The more I matured, I one day made a decision to not allow any more violence in my life. I had thought that getting beat up was normal because my mom was very stressed and poor. So in a way, I “deserved it.”

But why do we grow up normalizing those behaviors?

When you grow up poor, because of our “positionality,” we are taken advantage of very often. Not just by our parents but by other family members and even strangers. So, it becomes very normal to accept abusive bevahiviours from parents, relatives, teachers and strangers.

So when we grow up, we continue to normalize being exploited and we are afraid to speak up. Not only that, but we also think about our self-worth and so we think we are worth being mistreated.

I believe we deserve better but it all comes at a cost. We have made it this far without handouts and support. 

I want my child to grow up with more support, less pain and less trauma. And although, I’m not perfect, even if we do everything right, I know my child will still be exposed to the brokenness of our system . This does not mean I should not strive for a better future. I want my generation to be better and I would like my kid’s generation to be better as well. I would not want her to struggle the same way as I was. Because, I still grief.

Manage triggers – when children’s behaviors trigger certain past trauma in our lives, we got to be able to control and be able to draw boundaries between their behavior and my issues.

Children are one of the most marginalized groups. They are dependent on adults to survive.

Physical Abuse, Verbal Abuse is all abuse.

Discipline is different and we need to discern that.

Cont….