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Parenting is revolutionary because the work we do in our families is revolutionary. Parenting is about raising humans, understanding childhood development, and recognizing the profound impact our actions have on their lives. Parenting changes us, evolves us, and demands that we become better people.

As adults, many patterns in our lives can be traced back to our experiences as children. That is why what we do now can shape the way our children grow and experience the world. Reflecting on my own upbringing, I realize I had normalized numerous harmful patterns. Violence, for instance, became a part of my reality. My mother was brutally beaten as a child, verbally abused, and deprived of parental love. Unfortunately, this pattern continued with me. As a child, I was also beaten, verbally abused, and neglected. These experiences caused deep trauma and led me to internalize blame, harbor resentment, and question my self-worth.

As I matured, I made a conscious decision. I would not allow violence to continue in my life. I had believed that being beaten was normal because my mother was stressed and poor. In some way, I thought I deserved it.

Why, though, do we grow up normalizing such behaviors?

When you grow up poor, positionality often means you are taken advantage of, not just by parents but by other family members and even strangers. Over time, it becomes normal to accept abuse from parents, relatives, teachers, and others. As a result, when we reach adulthood, we may continue to normalize being exploited. We fear speaking up and start to question our own worth, believing we are somehow deserving of mistreatment.

I believe we deserve better, but that comes at a cost. We have come this far without handouts or support. I want my child to grow up with more support, less pain, and less trauma. While I am not perfect, and even if we do everything right, I know my child will still encounter the brokenness of our systems. That does not mean we should stop striving for a better future. I want my generation to be better, and I want my child’s generation to have more opportunities, more healing, and less struggle. I do not want her to face the same hardships I endured. I still carry grief from my past.

Part of this work is learning to manage triggers. When a child’s behavior evokes past trauma, we must be able to separate their actions from our unresolved pain, maintain boundaries, and respond thoughtfully. Children are among the most marginalized groups. They are dependent on adults for survival. Recognizing this responsibility is crucial.

Physical abuse and verbal abuse are both forms of abuse. Discipline is different, and we must learn to discern the difference with intention and care.

Parenting is not just about raising children. It is about breaking cycles, rewriting patterns, and planting seeds of compassion, resilience, and justice for generations to come. By choosing to parent consciously, we engage in the quiet but radical work of creating a world that is safer, kinder, and more just, one child at a time.